It’s been a couple of months since I’ve written a blog post, and I have to admit, I’ve felt guilty about it.
One of my biggest goals in life is to encourage and inspire others through my experiences. When I started this blog, my vision was to publish a new post twice a month, and for quite a while, I did just that.
But eventually, I became overwhelmed. I realized I was putting too much pressure on myself, and when I wasn’t writing, I felt like I was letting everyone down, including myself.
I needed to remind myself that I’ve also had a stroke and that some things require more energy and effort than they once did.
The irony is that I was doing the exact opposite of what I encourage others to do: give themselves grace, recognize their limitations, and understand that resilience doesn’t mean pushing themselves all the time. If you’re navigating your own difficult season, visit my Resilience Resources page for encouragement and tools to help you along the way.
Sometimes it’s easier to encourage others to be kind to themselves than it is to extend that same kindness to ourselves.
And that’s exactly what I’ve been learning these past few months: how to rest without guilt and give myself the same grace I encourage others to have.
Rediscovering My Purpose
Looking back over these past couple of months, I realize I haven’t been standing still. I’ve been growing in ways I never expected.
One of the biggest changes has been starting freelance work. After my stroke, I had pretty much written off the possibility of ever working again. That realization made me sad because working had always been a part of my life.
When I completed my first freelance job, I felt a sense of accomplishment I hadn’t experienced in a long time. It reminded me how much I missed working and gave me a renewed sense of confidence in my abilities.
For so long, I had focused on the things I could no longer do. Now, I was discovering things I could do. With each accomplishment, I became a little more willing to step outside my comfort zone and try something new.
My desire to encourage others actually began during my stroke recovery. I remember a nurse telling me that I could be anything and do anything I wanted.
Her words made me think about what I truly wanted to do with my life.
Before my stroke, I hadn’t given much thought to my purpose or my relationship with God. But afterward, I began to see things differently.
I wanted to use my experiences to encourage people who had suffered a stroke or were facing other difficult circumstances. I wanted them to know that even when life changes in ways we never imagined, there can still be hope, growth, and purpose.
That’s one of the reasons I started this blog.
But somewhere along the way, I had forgotten something important.
Having a purpose doesn’t mean I have to be productive every minute of every day.
Feeling Like I Needed to Earn My Keep
One of the hardest things I’ve been learning is how to rest without guilt.
Somewhere along the way, I developed this belief that I needed to earn my keep. Nobody has ever told me that, and nobody has ever made me feel that way. It’s something I’ve put on myself.
Since my stroke, there are still so many things I’m learning to do, things I need help with, and things I simply can’t do anymore.
I think I’ve convinced myself that if I stay busy and productive, I’m somehow making up for those things.
When I told my husband how I felt about needing to earn my keep, it made him sad. He reminded me that he has always supported me and is proud of everything I can do.
Hearing that helped lift some of the pressure I had been putting on myself.
It also made me realize something important.
I was holding myself to expectations that nobody else had placed on me.
I had somehow connected my value as a person to how much I could accomplish in a day.
And that’s a difficult belief to let go of.
Learning to Rest Without Guilt and Love Myself as I Am
Over the last few months, I’ve been taking personal growth courses, studying the Bible, and learning a lot about myself.
I’ve also been taking a self-love course alongside a group of amazing women. Through this experience, I’m learning to love and accept myself just as I am.
I’m beginning to understand that I deserve good things simply because I’m me, not because I’ve checked everything off my to-do list.
That includes giving myself permission to rest without guilt. To watch a movie in the middle of the day without thinking about everything I should be doing.
These might seem like little things, but for someone who has spent so much time measuring her worth by her productivity, they’re pretty big changes.
Recently, I had one of those days when my to-do list seemed never-ending. There was still plenty I wanted to accomplish, but instead of pushing myself to keep going, I decided to do something just for me.
I curled up with a good book in the middle of the day.
Normally, I would have felt guilty, thinking about everything I should be doing instead. But this time, I reminded myself that taking a little time for myself wasn’t a bad thing.
And you know what? It felt good!
When I finished reading, I felt refreshed and ready to tackle the rest of my day. And when I returned to my to-do list later that day, I was surprised by how much more I accomplished. It was a small moment, but it helped me realize something important.
Rest doesn’t have to be a reward for finishing everything. Sometimes rest is exactly what helps us keep going.
Changing the way I think about myself hasn’t happened overnight. Those old thoughts still creep in, reminding me of everything I should be doing.
But I’m learning to recognize those thoughts and question whether they’re really true.
I’m also discovering that when I allow my brain and body to rest, I feel rejuvenated and refreshed. Sometimes, my best ideas come after I’ve given myself permission to slow down.
Rest is not a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of strength and self-love.
Remembering My Worth Through Faith
My faith has played an important role in learning to love and accept myself.
One passage I often think about is Psalm 139, where David talks about how God formed him in his mother’s womb.
I believe God created me exactly as He intended. God is perfect, and He doesn’t make mistakes.
When I start getting down on myself or thinking I’m worthless because of the things I can no longer do, I remind myself of something important.
God does not create worthless things.
My abilities may have changed since my stroke, but my value in God’s eyes hasn’t.
I’m still learning to see myself the way God sees me, rather than judging myself by what I can or cannot accomplish.
Another passage that has become meaningful to me is Matthew 11:28, where Jesus invites those who are weary and burdened to come to Him for rest.
I’m learning that I don’t have to carry every burden myself. I can lean on Jesus, trust Him, and allow myself to rest.
For so long, I associated rest with not doing enough. But my faith is helping me understand that learning to rest without guilt is something good.
Rest doesn’t take away from my purpose. Rest is part of my purpose.
I don’t stop being the person God created me to be simply because I’m taking a break.
And that’s something I want to remember on the days when those old feelings of guilt return.
Sometimes Growth Happens When We Slow Down
As I sit down to write my first blog post in a couple of months, I’m beginning to see my time away differently.
At first, I felt guilty for not writing. But now I realize that even though I wasn’t writing about resilience, I was living it.
I was discovering abilities I thought I’d lost after my stroke. I was finding a renewed sense of purpose through freelance work. And perhaps most importantly, I was learning that my worth isn’t measured by how much I accomplish.
I’m learning that it’s okay to slow down, change my priorities, and rest without guilt.
And if you’re someone who feels guilty when you’re not being productive, I want you to know something I’m still learning myself.
You don’t have to earn your worth through accomplishments. Even on the days when you accomplish absolutely nothing, you are still valuable.
Remember, you deserve rest, kindness, and compassion, including from yourself.
I still have a lot to learn about self-love and resting without guilt. Some days will undoubtedly be easier than others. But I’m making progress, one step at a time.
So, where have I been these past couple of months?
I’ve been growing.
And sometimes, that’s exactly where we need to be.
Let’s Talk About It
I’d love to hear from you!
- Do you ever feel guilty when you take time for yourself instead of working on your to-do list?
- Have you ever felt like your worth was tied to how much you accomplished?
- What’s one thing you enjoy doing that helps you feel rested and refreshed?
Share your thoughts in the comments below. I’d love to hear about your experiences and what you’re learning about giving yourself grace.